As I sit here with an ice pack on my right ankle, I reflect on the history of my ankles, the weakness of them, and how they parallel all other weaknesses we could boast in and strengthen. Boast? Why would someone boast about their weaknesses?!? I will get to this later, but allow me to say how my ankles inspired me to write to you.
Ever since a summer league basketball game in High School, I have twisted, sprained, tweaked BOTH of my ankles countless times. During those injuries, trainers and doctors gave me numerous opportunities to rehabilitate and strengthen my ankles, and hope in future prevention. And at first, I would follow through with protocol by doing certain exercises and wearing ankle braces for activity. But, for whatever reason, I did not follow through entirely and without compromise in these measures. I told myself I could do without these practices because they were somewhat of a hindrance- doing exercises took time, and ankle braces were slightly restrictive-and I wanted to be free of these "burdens". It never failed, however, that I would seem to twist or tweak one of my ankles after ignorance of concern. One of these times was Saturday, June 18th, 2011.
I was playing a pick-up basketball game with some old roommates in Madison. It was a hot, humid day, and we were just having a great time, reuniting and goofing around like good ol' times. I was not wearing "basketball shoes", and honestly, I could feel a foreshadowing of an ankle turn because they already felt kind of 'wobbly'. During the game, our team was making a comeback so I started to play a little harder. I made more moves and cuts to the basket to allow easier scores and give us a better advantage. At one point, my teammate had the ball, and I made a move to the basket to allow him an easy pass and potential point. As soon as I made the move down the middle, my friend stepped in to kind of cut me off and stop me (which is what he is supposed to do and not allow me an easy basket), and I stepped on his foot. My ankle cracked at the collision of my foot with his, and I came tumbling down. After laying their in pain, I knew that after 5 minutes I would be fine because my ankles are so stretched out at this point from past sprains. But I sit here, ankle elevated on the couch, and I can barely walk. Ignorance of taking care of my body has cost me comfort, convenience, and ability to enjoy the simple act of walking. At the same time, and for whatever reason, I had this determination and attitude of "this is enough, I have had it". And this takes me to reflect on boasting in my twisted, weak ankles.
St. Paul writes in Corinthians, "If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness"(1 Cor. 11:30). Now, my twisted ankles have no comparison to the beatings St. Paul endured for the sake of spreading the good news, and this is no attempt to merit any of my thoughts alongside St. Paul. Setting that aside, I felt through the continual hardship of spraining my ankle and ignoring prevention, I came to know that I must be resilient and strong in pursuit of experiencing a life with healthy ankles. So, it is like St. Paul says again to the Corinthians, "For when I am weak, then I am strong." (Cor. 12:10), that through natural occurances and all our choices, we will experience weakness, but it is through that weakness we can also learn, grow, and act with heart and will. This is meant to give us life and inspiration during life's struggles! The ankle is a symbol of our spiritual heart. How many times do we experience weakness in our pursuit for love of God and neighbor? There are things that naturally pull us from God's love, then we ignore the signs and continue to fall; or we will experience trial and persecution for things we confidently believe in. But alas, there is hope! St. Paul, in his boasting, says that the power of Christ is what gives him strength. It is in that weakness, that we realize we are totally dependent on him; the power of His resurrection gives us hope that we don't have to dwell on our weakness, that we can overcome it, and become strong, and love God and neighbor even more! This is why I boast in my broken ankles! What am I going to do about this?
I started to think of exercises, preventive measures, and attitudes that would start the process of building my ankles back up. This also allows me to think of the things interiorly that I am weak in, and how I can strengthen them. I even asked someone to keep me accountable for this! I am reminded day in and day out that God gives us opportunity to grow strong through our weakness.
What are you doing to go strong in your weaknesses?
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